The joys of the in-between.
Live In The Sunshine
Swim The Sea
Drink The Wild Air.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hi, hello, and happy summer! The season of warmth, late sunsets, cocktails, watermelon, and vacation. It’s also the time, if you have school-aged children, of having no school for said children to go to. If you’re in the South, like us, you’re now about halfway through summer break (!!!!), even though summer itself lasts until Thanksgiving. My Northern readers, you may have just recently released the end of the school year breath you were holding. We’re all somewhere on the spectrum of “thank goodness we made it to summer” to “how is it already time to buy school supplies?!?!” And if you don’t have kids, you’re probably like 🤷🏼♀️, but hang with me, because this is for you, too.
Because what we all have in common when it comes to summer—no matter when it starts or whether you have tiny humans (or big humans) whose totally different routine interrupts your regular flow—is that it’s a massive competition between what we want to do and what we have to do. And this can come in many forms. For one of my writer friends, she’s full time parenting and desperate for a break to create/work. For one of my friends with an office job, she’s piecing together childcare and desperate for a break to be with her kids. And I think all of us—whether we have kids or not—-could use some time to just BE. We’re so frequently caught up in a state of human DOing, that we forget what it's like to be a human BEing.
It’s hard to do that, though, isn’t it? Hard to disconnect from the thousands of things pulling us in millions of directions? Because we’re conditioned to Go further! Do more! Dream bigger! And I’m not saying we shouldn’t—we absolutely should. We should have big dreams and we should be ambitious and we should strive to contribute to the world and better ourselves. And also, yes, do the job that pays the mortgage. But I am saying maybe we shouldn’t right now. I’m saying that sometimes good enough is good enough.
If you’ve been following me for awhile, you know I’ve been working my butt off for coming up on five years at writing, trying to get an agent, being a better writer, getting an agent, more revisions, parting ways with my agent, and then, in January, signing with a freelance editor with whom I’m now revising my second book. And this spring I spent several luxurious months revising a book I have no plans to query right now. Why? Because I needed to reclaim my internal goal of being the best writer I can, instead of my external goal of the agent/book deal/oodles (or at least tens) of dollars in income/worldwide fame and acclaim. And to do that, I had to take a step back and learn, but also reconnect with myself as a writer. I worked my butt off, friends, and then I went on vacation for two weeks and did absolutely zero, and then I came back and revised my third book from third person point of view to first in preparation for submitting to this editor over a period of eight days. The timing on these projects has been slower than I wanted it to be, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been so frustrated when I realized the book I was so close to finishing wasn’t the right one to go back in the query trenches with, but I learned a valuable lesson in this whole process:
Slowing. Down.
There are so many seasons in our lives, friends. Literally and metaphorically. And I’ve found that summer is a good time to slow down, take a breath, and give ourselves grace. If working your butt off over the summer feels right to you, then by all means do that, and do it without regret. Do what you need to do to fill your cup, and if that’s working, go for it. As I told my writer friend, you’ll be a better parent/spouse/whatever if you cut yourself some slack in that department so that you can connect with the creative part of your soul. But also, if the drive to produce is coming from outside of you and not within you, please give yourself permission to tell it to go jump off a cliff.
Give yourself permission to take a break. Read a book. Take a nap. Sit outside (or look at the outside from inside because it's hotter than hell) and sip a cold beverage and just be with yourself. Play Uno with your kids until well after bedtime. Visit with friends you haven’t seen in too long. Sit by yourself in an air conditioned room and don’t speak to anyone. Whatever it is, give yourself permission to do it. Life is short, friends. And it’s way too short to push yourself to a state of burnout. Work hard, yes. But if you want to work less hard right now and pick back up again when it cools off and you don’t feel like you can give yourself permission: I give it to you. I give you permission. Summer can so often feel like an in-between time—even if you don’t have kids, the hangover from your own childhood can leave you feeling like you’re floating between last school year and the new one. But the in-between is when you can give yourself the gifts of resting and reconnecting with yourself and people you love. The in-between is where the joy happens. The in-between is where the magic happens.
“Give yourself permission to allow this moment to be exactly as it is, and allow yourself to be exactly as you are.”
Recommendations Roundup
Parting Shot
Final Thoughts
I wish you the peace that comes from living the life you want for yourself, the hope that comes from seeing your own potential, and the joy that comes from stepping back and feeling gratitude for it all. Go forth, my friends. I wish you well.
Love,
Sarah